Some time ago, I had a major decision to make. It was mine to make and no one else could make it. It was one of those lifelong, not going back decisions. I knew which way I should go in the decision. I prayed that God would help me recognize my struggle for what it was. I also wanted peace of mind. Through studying His word and prayer, I became more convinced of the correct biblical response. After over two months of struggle, choose the path that best represented Gods character and Jesus’ teaching. It was a blind faith jump, it didn’t feel right.
I didn’t have a peace about it. But still I knew the biblical response. I knew this path would take a lot of sacrifice and 10 plus years of intense commitment. I also knew that God would care for me and everyone involved. It wasn’t until much later that I finally understood how much I was the problem. This should have been a shorter struggle but I can be pretty selfish. When I choose do things Gods way, life goes better for me. Has Gods way been easy? No sometimes it has been downright exhausting but it is a better life than the one I planned. The sacrifices have been greater than I thought they would be but the rewards have been greater as well. God really does know me better than I know myself. 1 Ki 7.39, 1 Chron 28:9. When I give into selfish desires they don’t satisfy for long and I just want another desire and another and another. Each time I trust Him my history with Him is longer. I can look back on His faithfulness and rest more easily in His character.
This was a good example of not trusting my heart. The heart or my emotions can be deceptive. Sometimes I choose the easy over the right. God really does know what is best for me. This should not surprise since He made me. He knows my innermost parts and thoughts.